I really, really, really do not want to cry.

She could have done it. I could have had it.

But, she quit. She won't fight. She won't try.

So, now. I am crying. I am not seeing my babies or the one friend I have left here.

Where do I go from here? How do I get back up again?

She talks about all the people she has hurt, but I can guarantee she hasn't hurt anyone like this before. She cannot fathom what she has done. I am pretty much certain no one in her life has ever cared about her like this before. No one has ever known her.

Maybe I am weak. But, I just want her to fight. I want to be worth it for the first time in my life. Show up, tell me I am worth it.

I am very stupid.