"It just makes the experience of it, the realization of it, the acting upon it different for different people."

http://dorothysurrenders.blogspot.com/2012/01/pro-choice.html?spref=bl

This just makes me so happy. I don't even know where to begin. The interview with Cynthia Nixon that Dorothy Snarker was talking about was so dead on.

As a community, we have come so far. Believe it or not, it is easier to be gay now than ever before. But, we didn't get here by being just one way. I will outright say one of my most controversial beliefs: sexuality is not black and white.

And that doesn't just apply to women or heterosexuals. I think it applies to all human. Whether you identify yourself as gay, straight, bi, or whatever. I think all humans have a certain level of fluidity within us that when tapped into can mean having all sorts of different connections and relationships with all sorts of people.

The gay community (especially us angry lesbians) get angry about females who experiment with other girls for the attention of men (Katy Perry, anyone?) or with women who stop being lesbians altogether.

My thing is: who cares? Let freedom ring. Act on what you feel. Admit when someone outside of your designated orientation is attractive.

We aren't just fighting for the right to be "here and queer." It's about love. It's about expressing yourself in ways that the government or society should have no say in. Sexuality is so personal and so unique just like human beings themselves.

For me personally, I LOVE women. The way they move and smell. They are like art. I have never struggled with it. I have never thought twice. But that doesn't mean I don't find men attractive or that my relationships with males are any less important. I think girls who are struggling with their sexualities get even more confused in this society because people are telling them that any feelings for the opposite sex means they are just confused, experimenting, or bisexual. Even the different definitions for differing sexual orientations are misleading.

I don't have the data or a lit review to back me up here as of now, but I believe strongly that sexuality on a BIOLOGICAL level is fluid. For everyone. It isn't about labels; it is about people and their connections to other people.

Sexual identity is something SO personal and something I think only the individual can attach to themselves. For example, I am a lesbian. My preference is for woman. I identify with a lot of what it means to be a lesbian, but if I ever fell in love with a man one day I wouldn't hesitate because of other people. I am not even sure I would stop calling myself a lesbian. Ignoring those feelings or a strong attraction would be the same thing as not dating woman just because it is frowned upon.

That is why to me, in some ways, sexuality is a choice. We choose how we identify. We chose how much we let society and other external forces shape who we are and are not attracted to. For some people that choice is clearer. For some it is, in fact, barely a choice at all. But, why is one way wrong? For some people it is a choice. They have the luxury of being open to all sexes on all levels. I think they should be commended for that, not prosecuted or excluded from a community.

I think people miss out on a lot of opportunities to get to know people in new ways just because they have started down one sexuality's path. So I will say it a million times until someone hears me: sexuality isn't black and white. Love, sex, orientation, experience, emotions, fantasy, and so much more all play a role in shaping sexuality. If all those things go into shaping our romantic lives why should one word be used to sum it up? Seriously, people, here's a word for you: spectrum.