Man, I hope this mood is just because I'm tired.
I'm just feeling really down. Sad and sort of lonely.
It's weird. The more people I have around me the more alone I feel. I guess that's pretty cliche, but it's true. Today my other roommate moved in and her family was here, there were people all around, and I was texting tons of people. Still, I felt as if everyone was foreign to me and like they didn't know me. Out of place, as always.
I suppose as usual I am just finding that the more people I have around me the more unhappy I feel.
Right now, I feel pretty useless. Maybe I forgot a dose of my meds or something, but I'm not seeing any good in myself. I see why all those people have left or done me wrong and why I'm only ever just an option. All those hers not wanting me? Yeah, that makes sense.
The difference is that I'm acknowledging it and trying to do things to rectify it. For example, I have actually begun to let go of some anger toward a former crush of mine (maybe that situation has something to do with this mood? I don't know.). I also hung out with my roommates and went on an adventure despite being dead tired and filled with self-loathing.
Impressive really. But, not quite enough apparently.
I guess I just need sleep.
'Til another day, trusty blog.
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