It is quite possible that I am expecting too much. It is also EXTREMELY possible that I need to ask for what I need and want more explicitly. I guess, like them, I'm doing what I can. I GUESS they are trying too. But, like I told Kayla last night I don't want people to care in "their own way." I want them to care and want me in the way I need, the way that doesn't make me cry myself sleep.
I have to give props to her and especially Liz last night. They stepped up. The latter even did a good deal of challenging. Though some was misguiding and incorrect in relation to my truth, she said some really important things. And, hopefully, I can remember them and next time not push her away so much. Kayla, uh, as always, we will see.
Additionally, things are still weird with my Mom. I can't tell her about my night last night. She'll feel too bad. I know she feels bad about not thinking of me, but don't they always? The guilt on the other party's part never seems to make me feel better; in fact, in most cases, it makes it worse. It hurt. I can't deny that... But, she didn't mean it, so I'm attempting to move on. It's just hard when I feel like it's something she's done my whole life. *shrugs*
So, positive Amanda is going to go to do something "productive" now. But, let me just leave you with this gem before I go:
Yes, that is Mary Louise Parker's belly. You are so very welcome. :)
Have a good day. <3
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